Blimey, storage in a loo, right? It's the eternal puzzle of London living. I remember my first flat in Balham, a proper shoebox. The bathroom was an afterthought, and the cistern… well, it just sat there, this big, cold, white lump, staring at me every morning. Utterly depressing.
So, you want to tame that beast *and* stash your spare loo rolls? You're speaking my language. Let's have a proper chinwag about this.
First off, forget the boring, flat-pack stuff you see everywhere. The real magic starts with measuring. And I mean *proper* measuring. Not just the width, but the depth from the wall to the very front of the pan. Got pipes sticking out? Note 'em down. I learned this the hard way in a Chelsea project—ordered a gorgeous oak cabinet only to find the soil pipe laughed at my plans. Cost me a fortnight and a small fortune to sort.
Now, the fun bit: thinking inside the box. Literally. A well-made toilet cabinet isn't just a cupboard; it's a chameleon. You can get ones with a false drawer front at the top—pure genius. Looks like a neat little drawer, but lift the whole panel, and bam! There's your cistern, hidden away for servicing. The space below becomes deep shelves or even a little cupboard door. I fitted one like this in a Victorian terrace in Hackney. The owner, a bloke named Simon, was chuffed to bits. He finally had a home for all his, ah, "reading materials" and his fancy beard oils. No more clutter on the windowsill.
Then there's the side return. If your loo is in a bit of an alcove, you can build out the whole wall. I saw this done brilliantly in a place in Greenwich. They used a simple, shaker-style cabinet that stretched from wall to wall, with the loo set into it. The cistern vanished completely. The top became a lovely marble shelf for candles and plants. It felt less like a bathroom and more like a proper little sanctuary. Smelled of lemongrass and looked a million bucks.
Oh, and materials matter! Don't go for that shiny, cheap MDF that puffs up at the first hint of steam. Go for something with a proper, waterproof finish. I'm a sucker for a good, painted ply or even a moisture-resistant laminate that looks like concrete. It feels solid, you know? It *sounds* solid when you close the door. A satisfying *thud*, not a hollow *clack*.
But here's a secret from my own disaster: ventilation. However you box it in, that cistern needs to breathe a little. Leave a gap at the back or fit a discreet grille. I once sealed one up a bit too well in my own place, and a few months later… well, let's just say a faint, damp mystery smell appeared. Took me ages to trace it back. Not my finest hour.
It's really about making that corner work for you. That cold, functional lump doesn't have to be the boss of your bathroom. With a bit of clever joinery, you can make it disappear and gift yourself a whole new stash of space. Honestly, it's one of the most satisfying little fixes you can do. Turns a necessary room into a rather nice one.