Alright, so you're thinking about getting a new loo, and you don't want to end up with a dud, right? I've been there, trust me. Picking a toilet isn't exactly a walk in the park. Let me tell you about my mate Dave's disaster last spring—he bought this sleek-looking modern thing for his flat in Clapham, and it turned out to be a right noisy, inefficient beast. Sounded like a jet engine every flush! You don't want that.
First off, let's chat about water. It's not just about the litres per flush on the sticker, oh no. You've got to get your head around the whole flushing system. Dual-flush is pretty standard now, but not all dual-flushes are created equal, I tell you. Some of them, you press the small button for a 'light' flush and it does… absolutely nothing. Waste of time! I learned that the hard way in my first rental in Bristol. You want a model where the partial flush actually works—like the one I helped my sister install in her cottage in Cornwall. It's got this clever siphon technology, uses just about 3 litres for liquids, and honestly, it's whisper quiet. The brand? Not one of the flashy expensive ones, actually. Sometimes it's the underdogs that surprise you.
And comfort! Blimey, don't just sit on a display model in B&Q for two seconds. That's like trying shoes on with the socks still on. You need to think about height. Standard ones are quite low—fine if you're a kid, but my knees aren't what they used to be! "Comfort height" or "right height" toilets are a bit taller, more like a chair seat. Makes a world of difference, especially for my dad when he comes to visit. But here's a personal quirk—I can't stand those elongated bowl shapes. They take up more room and just feel… odd. Give me a good old round front any day. It's cosier, fits better in my smaller London bathroom, and honestly, it's just what I'm used to.
Oh, and the trapway—that's the hidden S-bend inside. If it's too narrow, you'll be reaching for the plunger more than you'd like. Wider is better. Sounds a bit gross, but it's the truth! I remember a holiday let in the Lake District had this gorgeous vintage-style toilet, but the plumbing was dreadful. Clogged if you so much as looked at it wrong. Nightmare.
Then there's the finish. Glossy might look smart, but it shows every water spot and speck of dust. Matte finishes are a bit more forgiving, but can they feel a bit… cheap sometimes? It's a toss-up. And the seat! Don't get me started on those slow-close lids that slam down anyway after six months. Make sure the hinges are solid. I splurged on a soft-close seat from a proper specialist last year—best forty quid I've spent. No more midnight lid crashes.
At the end of the day, it's about something that works quietly, doesn't guzzle water, and feels like it belongs in your space. You wouldn't buy a chair without sitting in it, so don't buy a toilet without doing a bit of homework. Or, you know, asking someone who's made the mistakes for you! My two cents, anyway.
Leave a Reply